CXMAS - Extended Rain Delay

CXMAS 2014-15 is on an extended Rain Delay.. 

That only means 2x - CXMAS for 2015!

Stay tuned while we hold out for a freeze up.

CXMAS Postponed 1 week

Come back next week - Jan 5 2015.

12/28/14. Be There.

These jerks know about CXMAS.

Word is, they're fixin' to release them ride details at 11:00AM on December 28, 2014.

Bring canned-good provisions around 10:30AM to fill the cupboards the same as years past, to support the winter expedition.

Drop your canned goods with the porters near the Mercantile - Bike Stop Cafe on South Riverside Drive.  Your good deed will be rewarded with a free sharpie # tattoo and cup of joe. This will grant you access to the expedition.

Fire and Hopped Beverages may be luxurious items found during the expedition.

Bring this, your bad-ass bike   

and a friend like master Steven 

This post may sound like it was written by some kid in a Chinese factory, but rest assured: by the end of the day, you will have yourself this question at least once:

In the meantime, have a good holiday season, ride your bike, and make sure to complain about lots of stuff to the promoter about the event in which you are participating. It's just good karma.

-From the Staff at Team Seagal HQ

CXMas Teh 6th special edition

At last the time is near.
CXMAS!
What is CXMAS?  It's that time of year when we all meet up, and share stories from the past year, and plan new for coming...eeERRR!!!!  It's the time when sleazy elves dress with less and a bunch of Jerks whip up a batch of goodness!
To save you the pain of stumbling through my inability to be crafty with words tonight(I used them all up on my Haikus!) Here are a few details.
Titled Gravel SOCIAL!

Pleasant Sunday ride
Through the wooded countryside
Gravels still crunching!

Noon Roll from the Mound
Gravel crunch by frozen tires
EggNog doesn't freeze

Non Perishable
Fill the pantry full of goods
Feed My Peeps, Thankful!

WHO: You!

WHAT: FifthSixth Annual Team Seagal CXMas (Legit Gravel Edition)

WHEN: Sunday December 29th. Start time is HIGH NOON. Be early!

WHERE: The Mound! Where it was that one year, JERK.

Worried about conditions? HTFU! It's Hero Gravel Out There!

WHY: You have to ask?

COST: None!

We will trade you a suggested riding route(map) that offers wonderful opportunities to view wildlife as you ride through the woodlands, in turn, We ask that you please bring canned goods for donations for the needy. Seriously, please bring a shit load of food to help out those who are having a tough go of it. Thanks. ALSO, we will be accepting cash donations (OK, beer, too) for GORC. Because they build it so we can ride it. Please give generously to both, JERKS!!

THE FIFTH ANNUAL TEAM SEAGAL CXMAS:

CXMas it beckons, and will come before long

Master Steven's elves are planning, while hitting the bong.

We'll bring you spiked nog and donuts and brews

Just show up all dressed up, and ready to cruise.

We'll start and we'll end not too far from Page

Pabst shotguns at high noon, BAM!...like a 12-gauge

For FIVE YEARS now, we've created this madness

Without Seagal CXMas, there's bound to be sadness

Never fear, never worry, we're here to appease

We bring the party, and you bring the sleaze

We thought about Roxy's and all those nude titties,

But decided we'd party closer in to the city

So bring your new whip, a unicycle or 29'er

Be ready to haul ass, like a hillbilly moonshiner

We'll see you the Sunday following Christmas

December the thirtieth, you'll find your true blissness

The cat's out of the bag, so tell all your buds

CXMas is ON, it won't be a dud!

This year you may think is not quite as PRO

For I, CockPunchOr, am no fucking GINO

But that JERK's had this job four years in a row

It's time someone else should handle the show

So the reigns I did grab, lest the party not happen

Superior Attitude will keep CXMas toes tappin'

HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL THERE. Here are the less poetic details:

WHO: You!

WHAT: Fifth Annual Team Seagal CXMas

WHEN: Sunday December 30th. Start time is HIGH NOON.

WHERE: Same place it's been the last few years, JERK.

WHY: You have to ask?

COST: We ask that you please bring canned goods for donations for the needy. Seriously, please bring a shit load of food to help out those who are having a tough go of it. Thanks. ALSO, we will be accepting cash donations (OK, beer, too) for GORC. Because they build it so we can ride it. Please give generously to both, JERKS!!

REST(DRINK) UP!

Get yurselves some high qualitay sleep tonight, and show up drunk and ready to nonrace tomorrow.

Feel free to dream about what your mug might say.....

The times they are a changing...

Well... not really. CXMAS will start this year, as it has every year:
HIGH NOON! Or some approximation of 12:00pm depending on when Gino finally stops talking about some boring preride directions. But I would be there a bit before then.

VERY IMPORTANT:
Keep checking this blog leading up to CXMAS day. There will very likely be some more info posted here. Information that you might want to have when CXMAS arrives. Information without which you might very well be fucked for finishing CXMAS. (And not in a naughty stripper elf sort of way. More of a "who hooked that little boys picture on the back of my pants? Oh shit!... Is that Criss Angel coming up behind me?!!)